based upon the videogame Silent Hill 4. The Room

I wake up and, fortunately, she’s here. Whenever I start to think everything around me is vanishing completely, I see her and she’s here. I can see her hand touch mine but I don’t feel a thing. Lately I don’t seem to feel her hand when it touches mine. Lately, I don’t seem to feel anything at all…

         Lately I’ve been thinking about the time when I was in that old town on the side of the road where that heavy mist seemed to conquer everything in its way. Now I’m here in this little room, looking out the window thinking about the moon and stars and how long it is going to be before I actually feel her hand touching mine. I remember it as vividly as if I was living it again right now, while I feel nothing but her presence right behind me.

         That old town on the side of the road and that old apartment building in it. I walk through the mist until I see the building and enter it. Cracked walls, strange noises and a rusty smell fill my head with more and more fear. Back then I didn’t know her. She wasn’t around to drive my fear away. She is now. I wake up and she’s here. I turn around to look at her, sitting in the corner of this horrifying little white room. Her long, dark, straight hair flowing down to the floor barely allows me to see the rest of her. Still, I don’t need it to. I remember her precious little face, her eyes as black and dull as the endless bottom of an empty well, her tiny body covered by her blood-stained gown… and her hand… lately I don’t feel her little cold hand when it touches mine… lately I feel nothing at all…

         That rusty smell was all I could think about while trying to open the apartment doors, looking for help. I could hear fans working somewhere, slowly pushing around the hot air. Every single one of the doors locked with no sign of anyone around who could be of help. Spiraling into a state of complete panic, I suddenly heard it. Somewhere inside the building was a boy, sobbing. A second later I heard a distinctive bell ring, right at the opposite end of the long hallway: the elevator had just arrived… an elevator I never noticed while looking for an open door. The door opened and there was no one inside. Next thing I remember I’m inside the elevator; the doors open and I walk out of it into the fourth story. Each door shut completely tight, holding creeping and crawling sounds I can’t shake out of my head even today until I realize she’s here. When she’s here, there’s nothing else.

         The hallway came to an end and there was only one door I could open, the one that led to the emergency stairwell with no other way to go but down. The lonely light bulb barely even lit the stairwell and every step I took was more and more filled with fear than the last one. I couldn’t stop thinking about the rust, and the fans, and the crawling noises behind every door… That’s when I saw him. He was sitting on one of the steps with his elbows resting on his knees while he held something in his hands, something very small. He was a tall man dressed in torn jeans and a denim jacket just as old as the rest of his outfit. He had long, brown hair that covered most of his face. He turned his head to his left just enough to let me know he knew I was standing behind him. Then he said, – I know what you need… you need to go home… – and, holding out the little thing in his hand, he continued – this will take you home… –

         I looked at him and, without thinking it through, I took what he was holding. It was a key chained to a little doll. The doll had long, black hair and a pretty, black and white dress. The key had a number on it: 302. I looked up, wanting to ask him a thousand different questions, but he was gone, vanished as if he were a part of the stench filling the whole apartment building.

I stood there for what seemed to be hours just staring at the key. Finally, the unseen boy’s sobbing woke me up and I decided to keep on going downstairs. I entered the third floor and walked down the hallway. Every terrifying sound, the horrid smell, the very depth of my crushing fear seemed to grow stronger with each step I took towards that room… room 302…

         I arrived at that hauntingly simple door and used the key to open it. The moment the lock was open, every sound around me was gone. I stood below the threshold of the door surrounded by nothing but complete, dark, mind-ripping silence and felt someone was watching me. I turned around and there he was, the man from the stairs. He looked at me and smiled. He calmly opened his mouth and said – go home… – and the moment he finished saying those two small, simple words I felt someone pull me inside room 302… a room I’ll never forget… a room full of nightmares…

         I was lying on the floor when I heard a thousand different voices screaming in endless agony. I could see human faces and hands pressing in against the walls of the room, trying to get inside. I looked at the closed door and saw a dozen chains locking it from the inside, making it impossible for anything to go in or out. I ran to the opposite wall and noticed the smell of rust was stronger than ever. I looked at the windows and discovered something that made my mind lose its very last grip on reality: the three windows on that wall were covered in running blood.

         My legs ran out of strength and I dropped to the floor as I began to lose my sanity to the horrible scenery forced into my mind by whatever this room was. Thoughts and feelings of eternal despair coming from the people on the walls broke into my mind one after the other. I could see images of each and every one of a hundred horrible deaths: a girl beat to death by her drunken boyfriend who would later shoot himself, two drowning twin children struggling for air while no one even knew they were missing, an innocent man tortured and taken to an electric chair to finally put him out of his misery… Death was all that occupied my mind for what seemed to be an eternity of suffering until suddenly, the silence broke in again. I used every ounce of energy in me to finally open my eyes and look up at the door. There were no locks keeping me inside, there were no faces or hands reaching in, there was no blood running down the windows… there was nothing… nothing but her… 

         She was standing in front of the door and the next moment she was right next to me. She touched my hand and I touched hers, cool as autumn wind. For the first time I saw her precious little face and her empty black eyes just staring at me. Her hair grew down to her knees and covered most of her blood-stained gown. Without opening her mouth, she told me not to worry. – We’re going home… – she said, as she smiled and put her little fingers on my eyes shutting them close.

         I woke up after a long time in this little white room that I cannot escape. There’s a bed in here, but I don’t want to go to sleep. Every time I do, I see nothing but more and more painful death all around me but when I wake up, she’s here. She’s always here. She calms me down, she needs only touch my hand… lately I don’t feel her hand when it touches mine… lately, I don’t feel anything at all…